I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
