She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
