i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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