another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
