idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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