You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
