i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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