I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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