Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
