It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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