I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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