It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
