White coat. Heels.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
operation harelip BJ is a go
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
