hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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