I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My life is pants optional.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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