And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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