Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
