So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
