thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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