I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
