I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
