I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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