I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize