who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
