Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
