So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
