i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
