I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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