dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
