Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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