Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish my penis had an off switch
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
