I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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