scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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