Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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