Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
