She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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