im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
