Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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