taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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