I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
