I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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