i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
