Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
