If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
