Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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