I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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