Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
