you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
