Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
