My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
my liver is dry heaving
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
