I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
