heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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