Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
