It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
