you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
