I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
