we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
