Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
