I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
