Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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