Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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